The Mud-Epiphany - The Story
by Leverne
Summary: This is the continued story Lainey and her journey through life with the Shelby's. And it all started with that mud fight. (The continuation of "The Mud-Epiphany". Slow updates for now, rated M cause you never know ;) )
1. Prelude

Prelude.

 **(Year 1910)**

At seven she was a skinny little thing. Plain. Dirty. Like the rest of all the kids, except for the Shelby's of course, running around on the muddy streets. She always received a reprimanding session from her mother when she got home and had mud tracks streaking along her bare legs.

But it was worth it.

At least the times when she ran around with Ada Shelby.

Ada Shelby was the only girl in the Shelby family. Technically there was also aunt Polly - but she didn't always count. She wasn't a _girl._

Ada was spirited, just like Adelaine. Or Lainey as Ada called her, and soon it stuck. Only her mother insisted on calling her Adelaine.

"That's the name I chose for ye', course' I'll be callin' ye' by tha'!" Lainey always shook her head when her mother spoke like that.

Ada was Lainey's best friend. And Lainey was Ada's best friend. As they grew older and into their teens, they also grew even closer. Soon you couldn't find one without the other.

They were adventurous as well, usually convincing the other to do something scary – but always staying close and backing the other one up.

Trying to steal some booze from the pub where the Shelby brother's often went, or trying to spy on the neighbouring boys who now had started to develop muscles and their voices went funny when they talked.

Sometimes John's voice went a bit funny, and the girls couldn't help themselves but giggle as he did. The first few times it happened, he got mad. And not only mad - but Lainey could see it really upset him. So she tried to not giggle at him anymore.

One time, when Ada were giggling and Lainey saw the embarrassed face he had - she made herself trip on purpose, falling right on her behind in the mud splashing Ada in the process. Ada, of course, first got silent in shock, but as John started to laugh at Lainey, both girls drew up mud in their palms and so began the mud fight.

She still smiled when she thought of it. The girls squealing, John laughing - soon more kids and teens joined and then they were all covered in dark grey mud.

It didn't end on a good note though; in the midst of a full-blown smile, a sneaky look in her eyes Lainey grabbed herself a big pile of mud to throw on Ada (hey, they were friends and it was all in good fun!) - when from a corner Ada's older brother Thomas Shelby appeared with his friends and the oldest brother Arthur and as Ada took a step to her left, the mud catapulting from Lainey's hands flew onto Thomas' chest and sprayed his face.

Lainey still swears she saw her life pass in front of her eyes. All activity stopped, everybody got silent and Lainey whimpered in fear as Thomas looked down at his formerly pristine white shirt and then at her. His eyes were ice-cold and his mouth in a hard straight line. As he took a step toward her, everybody but the Shelby family and Lainey left the streets in a hurry and Lainey kept backing up, matching every step forward Thomas took.

"I'm sorr-"

"Be quiet girl" he interrupted her soft voice and she whimpered again. She could hear from far away how Ada was trying to explain but Lainey couldn't look away from Thomas' eyes.

She didn't really think he would hurt her - she'd seen him being nice and kind with aunt Polly and Ada, but then again, they were his family - but you just never knew what Thomas had up his sleeve.

"I didn't me-"

"I said-" he interrupted again and at last she was stuck against a brick wall "-be quiet." She pressed her lips together at his tone, not looking away from his eyes as he kept her locked in his gaze. She felt like a caught rabbit, about to get skinned.

"Now-" he began and leaned forwards a bit so he towered over her. He was already a man in physique and aura. He had more control over his body then most men twice his years and knew how to express himself clearly "-why don't you calmly explain to me why ye' threw mud on meself'?" He growled out the last of his sentence, making his accent stronger.

Lainey took a deep breath, tried to look around him towards Ada, but Thomas widened his shoulder and took a mini-step closer, caging her against the brick wall.

"We- Well you see-" she cleared her throat softly and glanced up at his eyes before quickly studying their shoes again when she saw him stare at her "-we were just talking, Ada and me, with John, and then his voice got a bit funny - you know like how the boys' voices get- anyway" she interrupted herself quickly when she saw him narrow his eyes. _Why did she think it was a good idea to tell him she was laughing at his brother?_ "-I saw how upset he got when we laughed-" she was not gonna rat on Ada completely "-so I accidentally tripped myself and fell on my bu-" she quickly blushed and flashed her eyes up to his in horror when she realized what word she was about to say "-well I fell, and then we got in a mud fight." She took a deep breath and bit the inside of her cheek in nervousness. When it became clear she wasn't going to say anything else, Thomas nodded but still gave her a questioning stare.

"A'right, that explains how it all got started, but it doesn't explain why _I_ got mud all over me?" He raised his eyebrow in question and Lainey started to fidget.

"We- Well you see, I was going to joke with Ada when you suddenly-"

"Are you trying to blame me?" He raised his other brow as well and Lainey widened her eyes in horror.

"N- No of course not! It was all my fault, I just didn't mean-"

And then something horrible, fantastic, embarrassing and humiliating happened - Thomas Shelby and his brothers began laughing at her. Thomas took a step back while laughing, still a sneering look in his eyes that to Lainey said 'You embarrass me, I'll embarrass you.'

Lainey couldn't look away. Even when she felt her eyes burn. And her cheeks flush. And her fists clenching. She couldn't look away or stop spouting horrible names in her head until Ada appeared in front of her, her eyes also burning, her cheeks also flushing and her fists clenched. Ada stared at her brother who refused to look away from the little fourteen year old girl who looked so humiliated, until he felt his sister hit his shoulder. Then he looked at Ada.

"Ye're all horrible! Scum!" She then pierced someone behind him with an even madder look before she grabbed the silent girls arm and led her away.

And that was the day when Thomas Shelby saw Lainey Chadwick for the first time as something else then his little sisters scrawny friend.


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter one.

 _Okey. Let's try and see if this works itself out. I don't wanna write too much of my thoughts cause in honest opinion I don't know if this will be a Tommy/OC or a Alfie/OC. All I know is that I don't think that neither Grace nor May is a good match for Tommy. And Alfie, that man really needs a good and strong woman who still can allow him to be the alfa. Anyway, we'll see how this goes or if I'll ever publish it. This might only become my dirty little story for myself. Cause it will get dirty. But the good kind ;)_

 _Since we don't really know much back story of the Shelby's parents (or at least not what I've noticed) it will be a bit of creative writing with those facts._

(Year 1919)

"You know, sooner or later they will catch you two and they'll blame me too." Lainey looked up from her newspaper to first look out through the window into the evening weather and then to her best friend, sister in all but blood, who were fluffing her hair and fixing her lipstick. Ada stood in front of the mirror in a pretty white dress in the style of the latest fashion and swiped a finger by her lips to make sure that it was even. Ada had cut her hair into a bob, also the latest fashion, last week and while Lainey knew her best friend to be a very sweet soul, she couldn't help but feel that she was being a little naïve and quick to fall in love.

The two girls had been friends since they were seven, and though they still were the closest of friends, something had changed between the girls since the start of the war. Lainey's dad hadn't been in the picture since before she was ten, so for her the war didn't really impact her life at home in the way that there was men missing from home. But it still changed things. Her mother got a bit harder, the need for survival more prominent and she had more worries then to make sure that Lainey didn't run around getting her legs muddy.

For Ada, things really changed. Ada, and her brothers for that matter, had lost their parents around the time of Ada's eighth year and instead welcomed aunt Polly as a parent to their family. This meant that when the war started in 1914 the Shelby-house got even emptier with the absence of Arthur and Tommy. Aunt Polly quickly showed what a formidable woman she was and made sure that the business ran as smoothly as it could.

During those years Lainey spent most of her time at the Shelby's, helping with whatever she could. At first her mother wasn't very fond of the fact that her daughter was helping another family to survive when themselves had it hard, but Lainey remembers that aunt Polly had a talk with her mother once and then everything seemed to be alright. Lainey and her mother didn't see each other much after that. Lainey moved in with the Shelby's and made sure to help in whatever manner she could in between her hours at Dr. Hemsey's clinic. She'd started working there after she and Ada had been to church where they were teaching nurse-duties. Ada had managed to get thrown out for giggling about putting the mouth-to-mouth method to use on some boys. But Lainey had really found it all very interesting and managed to convince dr. Hemsey to give her a chance and to lend her books so she could read up on all things pertaining to healing. Dr. Hemsey had found the young woman's thirst for knowledge and attention flattering and so sought out to help her as much as he could.

It was two weeks before Lainey's sixteenth birthday her mother came to the Shelby's and informed Lainey that she had met a man and that she was moving to London. Alone. The man didn't know that Lainey existed and her mother had no plans of informing him of her existence. Laineys mom had been fourteen when she'd had Lainey, so she was still young.

"I can still have children, and they will be Chester's first." Her mother must have seen the disbelieving and hurt look in Laineys eyes. "This is my second chance. Don't you think I deserve this?" Lainey hadn't been able to get a word out, still not being able to process the fact that her own mother was telling her that she wanted to erase her only daughter's existence from her life. She had felt a hand land on her shoulder that gave a short squeeze before moving her inside the house again.

"We hope you'll have a safe journey" and then aunt Polly had given Laineys mother a pointed look before softly closing the door. Lainey had at first tried to remain strong, standing with one hand at the backrest of a chair and the other on the table, leaning forward perfectly still before she'd felt aunt Polly's hands again on her shoulders. As she'd looked into the older woman's eyes with tears in her own, she'd clenched her jaw and borrowed strength.

"You will get through this. You're stronger then she ever was. We'll take care of you now." Lainey had let herself shed three tears before aunt Polly had embraced her tightly and she'd whispered gratefully to the older woman.

"Thank you." Aunt Polly had merely shushed her, and then turned back into the woman they all needed her to be, before they returned to the dinner table and continued their evening. The next day Lainey moved in at the Shelby-house completely and two weeks later she celebrated her first birthday in her new home and never looked back. She and Ada became even more like sisters, aunt Polly became even more of a mother and soon people saw her as one of the Shelby's.

Lainey quickly got used to her new life. She worked at dr. Hemsey's three days a week, helping him with the small things of cleaning and mending of small wounds, keeping the clinic clean and making sure that dr. Hemsey ate and slept. She quickly learned that the older man had lost his wife to sickness ten years earlier, and never felt the urge to start over. He once told her when she told him that the women would happily cue for a date with him;

"I have only and will only ever love my Celia, she was my soul-mate. I met her when I was a young man at the age of fifteen, and quite the rascal if I say so myself,-" here Lainey had giggled at the proud face the doctor displayed "- and dear Celia had been giving me quite the lecture on my behaviour when I just felt this uncontrollable urge to hold her hand." Here the doctor had blushed a little, and Lainey had felt her face split in a tender grin and her eyes burn at the tender tone and look in his eyes. Dr. Hemsey smiled and looked down, before he turned back to Lainey.

"So you see my dear girl, no woman would be able to compare to her." Lainey wanted to tell him that just because he might open himself up to love someone else, wouldn't mean that he'd had to forget Celia, but she also knew that she had yet to feel love like the kind the doctor described so she couldn't really know. But after that conversation, dr. Hemsey had made sure to get a little place in her heart, and Lainey promised herself that she would make sure that dr. Hemsey was taken care of.

With their new responsibilities, Ada and Lainey's friendship had started to change. The two girls grew even tighter, spending their nights curled up together with their aunt Polly, whispering of how much Ada missed her brothers and how much she loved Freddie. Lainey whispered of how she was scared for them and wished that they were safe and would come home soon. Polly didn't forbid the girls from talking about the boys or their worries, but she made sure to tell them that they were only allowed to talk about it between them inside the four walls of their home. Aunt Polly said that you shouldn't talk of sad things out loud and especially not outside of your home. Lainey always felt an extra warmth when aunt Polly or Ada said 'home'. Even though they were short on people, Lainey still knew that she was a part of this family and belonged in this home.

Ada and Polly made sure to keep the "shop" open, often leaving early and coming home late. With dr. Hemsey's hours, it made it possible for Lainey to take care of breakfast and the kids in the morning, work most of the day, and then when she came home fix dinner and the kids for bed. John was thankful, when he was sober. He was a lonely man, now that Martha was gone. They had grown closer during the evening hours, talking of all and nothing. John mostly talked of Martha. Lainey of her dreams and future. John always got a funny look on his face when Lainey talked of her future, dreams of going all over the world.

The news that the war was over and that the boys were coming home was earth shattering. Lainey had been standing in dr. Hemsey's practise, bandaging a young boy's leg and telling him a story of the time when she had accidently thrown mud on the big and fearsome Shelby brother, feeling happy that she'd finally made him stop crying. The boy's mother was standing beside him, holding his hand and combing back his head, and smiling at her son's wondered expression as he listened to the young girl. Suddenly the door banged open and Ada came in a flurry of movements, gasping and crying and smiling when she spotted Lainey.

"They're coming home!" She shrieked and Lainey, who was used to Ada's dramatic momoents merely smiled and raised an eyebrow and finished the boys leg, patting it when he was done.

"Who is Ada?" Ada grinned and bounced and clapped, making Lainey laugh at how much she reminded Lainey of how she used to be at ten when getting her way.

"The boys! Arthur, Tommy and Freddie! The war is over!" All the occupants in the room froze and suddenly the woman bundled up her son, sobbing and whispering to him "Daddy's coming home, daddy's coming home", the boy's eyes looking to the other grown-ups in confusion and Lainey hurried up to Ada silently crying to hug her. The two girls stood in their embrace for a few moments, sobbing and giggling before Lainey whispered "Polly" and the two girls were off.

Lainey would never admit that she were a little bit afraid of things changing.

Lainey had been in the kitchen making several dishes in preparation for the dinner they were having for the eldest Shelby brothers return with one of John's youngest kids on her hip – when the door opened and closed quietly. Lainey figured it was aunt Polly, she was the only one who were so careful with the door, and therefore just hiked baby Mal further up on her hip who were snuggling into her embrace and resting his head on her shoulder. Lainey smiled down at her casserole, shifted her head to kiss Mal's forehead before humming onwards with her song and resting her head on Mal's little head.

".. so the little foul chased the rainbow.." The young boy giggled and Lainey grinned. Mal was her favourite. John had four children, the oldest was about five now and followed aunt Polly like a shadow. Most of the time it was Lainey or aunt Polly who made sure that the kids were fed and clothed, but there was times when John was home and he sat down on the couch with a smoke and sat listening to the kids blabber on how their day's had been. But Mal was still too small to be able to say more then a few words, and just old enough to tote around on her hip.

The front door opened again and Lainey could hear Ada's shoes on the floor before the door slammed and she greeted Lainey.

"Lainey, you wouldn't believ-" her sentence was cut off by her own scream when she saw her two older brothers leaning in the opening to the kitchen, seeming to just looking around with cigarettes in their hands. Lainey swung around at the scream, both arms around Mal in case of danger and had a hard time processing what was in front of her.

Ada was hanging onto Arthur who's booming laugh was heard as he embraced his baby-sister.

"Well if it isn't my sweet little sister!" Next to them stood the middle brother, not looking at the reunion but instead still leaning against the doorframe, eyes fully locked on Lainey as he slowly raised his cigarette to his mouth and took a breath. As she felt his eyes on her she took a step back in response to the hard stare he gave her and placed a hand on Mal's back as she turned back to the stove.

"Tommy! Nothing to say?" Ada let go of Arthur and turned to Tommy who looked away from the young woman in his kitchen and instead focused on his younger sister. He could see the happiness of seeing him in her eyes and so leaned down a bit so she could put her arms around his neck. As she squeezed him he felt the all to familiar feeling of being trapped come over him and so started to separate them, Ada catching on quickly and letting him go. With a small nudge of his head towards the young woman, now murmuring to the small child on her hip as she continued with the food, Ada entered the kitchen and waved them to follow.

"Welcome home! We, or rather aunt Polly and this bore here, were planning of surprising you two with a dinner tonight but I guess the surprise is out of the bag now that you're already here. No matter, Lainey's cooking is still the best" Ada told them and smiled at Lainey's blush and Mal's waving hands. Lainey turned around again with a big breath and smiled at both Arthur and Tommy, but kept her eyes on Arthur.

"Welcome home. We're really happy to have you back." She glanced down at the little boy whose arms had tightened around her neck and squeezed him so he looked up in her face.

"These are your uncles honey. Uncle Arthur and uncle Tommy. They've just gotten home. Don't you wanna say hi?" she asked him as he just kept on staring at the two strangers. Ada reached a hand up to ruffle his hair, which only made Mal shake his head and burrow into Laineys embrace. Lainey frowned and looked down to the young boy.

"Mal. That's not polite. Greet your uncles. Come now" she insisted as he kept quiet. Arthur just laughed his booming laugh and looked around the kitchen and at all the different bowls and pots of food.

"So not only did John reproduce, he got himself hitched to Ada's little bestie while we were gone. What do ya think of that Tommy?" Arthur laughed and Ada and Lainey quickly started laughing and shaking their heads.

"You only got half right, John has four children but I'm not the mother nor his wife. I am still only Ada's bestie" Lained said softly and smiled at Ada and with a meaningful look to the pot on the counter, tried to hand over Mal to Ada who instead quickly turned to put in the pot in the oven. Lainey smiled amused. Ada had never really warmed up to the nurturing side of her personality, instead preferring to let Lainey handle those things.

During all of this, Tommy just kept staring and smoking, not moving a single muscle. Ada and Arthur though turned as they heard the front door opening and hearing aunt Polly scolding John who stormed inside and raised his hand to take off his cap. As he looked up and aunt Polly closed the door, they both made a surprised sound before attacking Arthur who were closest. Tommy, feeling the hallway becoming crowded moved into the kitchen next to Lainey and watched the reunion.

"So how long have you been working here?" he asked Lainey and glanced at her frown.

"I don't work here-" she answered slowly and quietly "-I live here and therefore do chores like everybody else." In reality she did most of the chores, cooking, cleaning, washing and making sure that all the kids went to bed. This made it possible for aunt Polly to focus on the business and for Ada to.. well help aunt Polly or to see Freddy who now also were back. Tommy stared at her for a long moment before he looked down to the little child resting on her shoulder. He could see how content the child was in her arms, and he could see how alike the child was to John when he was that young.

"I see you've met Lainey and Mal" aunt Polly interrupted and Lainey turned to the older woman with a smile and handed Mal over at her request.

"Why don't you all retire to the sitting-room and talk while I fix the last of dinner?" Lainey said softly and felt aunt Polly pat her arm.

"Nonsense, you'll join us. You're family as well" she said and gave Tommy a pointed look as he startled. He'd never heard aunt Polly call an outsider family. He gave her a quick look, telling her that she was going to explain things later. He looked back to Lainey who was smiling at aunt Polly and then was being dragged by Ada in to the sitting-room together with Arthur who were telling her something that apparently made John scowl and punch Arthur on the arm and made Lainey laugh a loud tinkling laugh. Tommy felt aunt Polly squeeze his arm again and give him a warm look before they both walked after the other four who were laughing and joking.

As Tommy sat down he looked over at his family and pulled out a new cigarette and lit it up. He never thought he'd get to be here again. At least he really didn't think so there for a while when things were really bad. Ada seemed to be the same as she'd always been, the little princess who was always smiling and engaged in the conversation. His younger brother John, who apparently was a father now to four children, seemed to be the same quiet young lad he'd been before Tommy went off to war. Tommy could see the conflict in him, feeling the responsibility of being an adult, but at the same time the same restlessness that Arthur possessed. That recklessness. Aunt Polly was the same, maybe a bit harder but what person wasn't during these times.

Then he had the little surprise. Ada's "bestie" as Arthur called her. Lainey. He remembered her as the little thirteen-year old who always seemed to have a glare over to spare on him and who were joined with Ada at the hip. Tommy leaned back into the sofa and raised his right arm to lie on the backrest and moved his cigarette to his mouth with his left as he kept on studying her. She'd grown into a beautiful young woman. A beautiful young woman who it seemed made sure that everybody in the Shelby home was fed and bathed. He wasn't fooled. He could see that Lainey had been essential in this home and he wasn't planning on disrupting that. For now. But she wasn't family. No matter what Polly said. She wasn't a Shelby.


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter two

 _So first of all, thank you for your comments! I am so happy that you've taken the time to tell me what you think and that you feel like giving this a shot. It seems like my muse is giving me little something something so let's hope this continues ;)_

(Year 1919)

For Lainey, life continued much the same way even though the boys were back. She still were the one to fix breakfast, only she made it for more people. She still went to the clinic to work for dr. Hemsey, and realised with the return of the men they had a lot more to do. There were more aches, more cuts and there were a lot of them who were troubled. They came in, looking like the devil was on their tails. Big dark bulging eyes, at times covered in stress as they looked around themselves in paranoia. There weren't much the doctor could do for those with no visual wounds, so instead Lainey usually sat with them. The first few men looked at her sceptically and muttered that "a wee lass like ye wouln' understand" but Lainey would look at them and say in the same tone she used on Finn and the kids:

"I don't need to understand. As long as you talk about it, it will make more sense to you." Some would scoff and with a look at dr. Hemsey they would storm out. They were usually the older men, but the younger ones would crumble at the tone. Dr. Hemsey called it her 'maternal gift.' But the news spread. Aunt Polly was right, men gossiped even worse the women.

Pretty soon her days were full. She never charged for the 'talks' as she called them. First of all she felt that she didn't have the right to since she were only listening, maybe presenting a question to make them think forward, but secondly; she didn't want them to stop coming just cause they didn't have enough money to spare. It wasn't right. Dr. Hemsey only looked at her when she asked if it was alright, but also clarified that she wouldn't stop with the talks, she would only try to have them at other times on the day. Dr. Hemsey had just given her a soft paternal smile, and patted her hand.

"You're a good girl." And that was that.

She had her favourites as well. Her latest one was Danny Whizz-Bang. He was one of the worst ones. But such a gentle man. Almost child-like. He talked much of "his lovely Rosie" who he loved so much, and who he felt so bad for coming back to. He ruined their home with his episodes. He drank too much. He couldn't keep a job. There was so many things that made him get confused, and his violent episodes. It was actually because of one of his episodes that landed him at dr. Hemsey's clinic.

Danny had been dragged inside by two older gents, mr Grayes and Nugget, and plopped down in the examination chair. Lainey scanned all three men, and knocked at the door to dr. Hemsey's office.

"Dr, you have a patient. Now mr Grayes, Nugget, let me take a look at those cuts while the doctor examines your friend here." The men relaxed and Nugget gave her a smile while they sat down. He was always a flirt, said it kept his marriage interesting.

"The wifey is a jealous type" he'd bragged with a dirty grin.

Mr Grayes however was a moody man. He was kind, but it had taken several meets were he'd walked inside, been met by her comforting smile and extended hand to a chair and he'd just left with a grumble. The first actual conversation had been the day when Lainey had met him at the door by placing her hands at her hips and frowning at him.

"Would you feel more comfortable in the doctor's office? If you want I can run down to the Garrison and buy us a pint?" The man had grumbled but when he realised she'd been serious he'd stared at her shrewdly.

"Can I smoke?" Lainey pursed her lips but nodded shortly and then swung a hand towards the door and then left to get those pints. Harry behind the desk had first argued and said that drinks don't leave the bar, but when Lainey had reminded him that he "could argue about this with her or with Polly" he'd sighed and then handed her a pint and then another glass of gin with plenty of tonic.

Mr Grayes had been standing by the window smoking, and looked at her blankly as she sat down the two drinks on the desk, closed the door and then sat down in the visitors chair and crossing her legs. After that, mr Graynes brought his own pint and came by ones a week.

"Now then Danny, what was it today?" dr. Hemsey asked as he looked over the cuts on his hands and his temple. Danny sat shaking, and mumbling, looking around the room until he landed on Lainey who stood smiling at Nugget's flirting and with mr Graynes next to the window smoking.

Danny didn't respond to dr. Hemsey's question, instead kept looking at the young woman who gently fixed the cuts on Nugget's knuckles.

"Are you her?" Lainey looked up with a small smile. It comforted him.

"Hmm?" She asked softly, calming the three men. Dr. Hemsey shook his head in wonder.

"Can you fix me?" Danny asked in a desperate tone and Lainey felt her eyes soften and with a pat to Nugget's hand she walked up to Danny with a sweet smile.

"Let's start with small talk. We'll see what happens after that. I hear you're married, I bet she's beautiful?" Danny grinned and nodded with a love-sick sigh that made Lainey giggle.

"My lovely Rosie is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Aunt Polly's and Ada's everyday-life took quite a spin though. To aunt Polly's dismay and to Ada's happiness. They were no longer needed at the shop now that the men were back. They walked right in and took back and over their previous places. Aunt Polly still managed to stay on the side, advising the boys and keeping an eye out for them. Ada hadn't wasted any time and started up with Freddie as quickly as she could. Lainey understood her reasoning, Ada was in love. But she was also a very spoiled little girl who showcased her naivety.

Freddie had quickly made enemies since his return. Stirring up trouble. It would probably catch up to him sooner rather then later.

It was about now Ada and Lainey really started to grow apart, and how Lainey's roll in the Shelby household had started to change. She no longer felt like family. Tommy was very clear about that. She wasn't family. He wasn't outwardly rude to her, or mean, but he didn't have to be obvious about it to get his message across.

Every evening Lainey stood in the kitchen, making dinner for the family. Often talking to John with little Mal by her legs joking and listening to his mumblings. This evening as she stood stirring the stew she'd made the table was occupied by a muttering aunt Polly who sat crinkling the newspaper with a glass of whiskey in hand. As she sighed she looked to the young girl and actually looked at her.

Lainey had grown.

Polly didn't really know when it had happened. Maybe she hadn't kept track of it as much as she'd had with Ada. But then again, she'd had to with Ada. Lainey was a good girl. Who'd taken the hard goings and made sure to make it a little better. Lainey took care of the family. That was one of the things that Polly sometime felt that Ada wouldn't understand. Ada would always feel like she was a part of the family and therefore be taken care of like one the family. But Lainey tried to take care of people without wanting people to take care of her.

Polly had more then once been approached by hesitant wives on the street with baskets of small things. A loaf of bread, maybe some pitiful vegetables. Things hadn't been the same between Lainey and the Shelby's for about a week after Polly being confronted by one of the wives.

"Ms Shelby, we want to give thanks to your girl, miss. She's helped my Albert so. It's not much but it's a little to show our thanks." At first Polly had frowned. The woman must have felt frightened and hurried to explain further.

"Your girl, at dr. Hemsey's office, apparently she's good at making the men talk of their worries." Polly's expression had darkened and hurried home to confront the young woman, looking so innocent at the counter listening to young Finn tell her about his day and how much his brothers trusted her.

"Lainey-"

"You fucking whore!" Both Lainey and Polly swung around at the murderous words and in stormed the two elder Shelby brothers followed by John who was clenching his jaw around his toothpick. Lainey looked in confusion at Arthur who was almost frothing at the mouth in his anger as he stared at her.

"You shameful fucking whore. How dare you shame this family? We are the fucking Shelby's! How fucking dare you spit on everything we've done for you?!" Lainey was shaking her head in fear and gripped the counter behind her as she looked at Arthur.

"I haven't-"

"Finn." Polly interrupted and the young boy looked out from behind Laineys skirts at his aunt.

"Go upstairs to your room." Finn gripped Laineys skirt and was about to protest when Lainey put a hand on his head and nudged him to his aunt.

"Go on Finn, you should probably fix that room of yours." Polly was proud to note that there were almost no shakiness to her voice, only the kind of soothing she usually saved for the kids when they were worried or had been hurt. The small boy looked at the grown ups and started towards his room.

"Don't hurt her Tommy. Or I will never help you again" he told his older brother who merely exhaled through his cigarette while Polly smirked and took a step forward.

"Now-" she looked at Lainey who's eyes had now shifted from the pacing Arthur, resembling a mad dog, to the very calm Tommy who stood staring at her with his cold eyes "-why don't we start again."

"She's a fucking whore, lying to our faces. And she's out of this house before I kill her!" Arthur boomed. Lainey stood shaking her head, looking between Polly and Tommy.

"I haven't done anything! I don't know what he's talking about aunt Pol'!" Tommy took another drag and let it out.

"Arthur." The older man looked to his brother and growled but kept quiet.

"Me and Arthur was approached by a young lad, wanting to thank us with a gift for the time he was allowed with you, _helping him with his problems._ " Tommy took a step closer and looked at her stonily.

"So tell us the truth now Lainey, so we can be done with this." Lainey shook her head again, she was almost getting dizzy at the repetitive movement.

"You've gotten it all wrong! I don't do that. They come to dr. Hemsley's office to talk to me." The men scoffed and felt even more anger at the fact that the old doctor was in on it.

"They talk of their times in the war Tommy." The kitchen got silent and Tommy looked back into those beseeching eyes. He was reminded of the time when she was seven and he was eighteen. Such a long time ago.

"What?" John said and Polly sighed while Lainey finally started crying.

"I sit and listen and talk to them while they talk about their experiences from the war." She whispered and heard Arthur slump down at the table. Polly took a step closer to Lainey who was still shaking and crying.

"They came back so troubled, and no one wants to listen. It's just shoved in a box and out they are supposed to go and continue like before. But they can't. They shouldn't have to! Horrible things happened to them, and they need someone to listen." She sniffled and glared up at Tommy.

"I've never done anything like.. that! And I won't stop with my talks either. I am helping" she bit at him and Polly put a hand on her shoulder and looked to the boys.

"I was approached today by one of the wives. She wanted to thank me for Lainey's help. How many wives would thank a woman for sleeping with their husband" Polly glared at Arthur when he and John laughed and muttered "more wives should."

Lainey looked at Tommy and then to aunt Polly while she untied her apron.

"The fish is in the oven and the potatoes are ready. Don't forget to mix in the peas in the potatoes for the kids, otherwise they won't eat them." John raised his head and frowned. Polly also startled and Tommy gave her a new kind of glance.

"Wha- where are you going love?" John asked and Lainey laughed and wiped her hands on her skirt and reached for her coat.

"Well, now that we've established that I'm not a _fucking whore_ -" Lainey sneered and made the other occupants startle, Lainey never spoke like that "-I am going out for a walk. If I can be trusted to not shame this family. Since you are the fucking Shelby's."

With that she stormed out, knocking into Tommy as she left and didn't see him look after her with a thoughtful and almost worried expression.


	4. Chapter 3

Hi everyone!

I am sorry for the long time in between updates. I've just had no inspiration and had this chapter resting on my computer half finished. it's a very short one, and I'm starting to find an outline again, but i'm not sure. Hopefully I haven't lost you guys.

Want to thank you all for the comments, you've really made me want to tackle this again and given me inspiration. So much love to you.

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"Don't forget to buy me some fish today for dinner. You promised" Lainey told John as she scuffled around the kitchen, in almost a dance, John thought. She placed a fresh plate on the table just as Arthur started his loud descent, and picked up the empty plates belonging to Finn and Katie, the latter who tried to balance her glass of milk. John muttered and placed a hand on John Jr's head as he kept running around the table, further annoying Arthur.

"Why can't you buy the fish on your way home?" John asked as Lainey made the children stand up and shooed them to clean up and get their bags for school. She tickled Mal on his stomach as he sat looking around in confusion.

"I told you, I have work for an hour later today" Lainey reminded John sharply and John swallowed and nodded.

"Ok, don't have to be mean about it" he muttered and folded the newpaper he'd been scanning and looked to his brother who even he, was giving a small frown that John knew didn't have to do with drinking too much alcohol the day before. Lainey ignored John, and made to rinse the last of the pans and plates, wiping her hands on a towel she had around her waist before straightening her shoulders.

"I am not being mean John, I am just telling you that I will not be changing my plans for tonight so you'll have to manage on your own" Lainey said calmly. Very calmly. Even Arthurs chewing got more silent and both men looked at Lainey.

"Are you-" Arthurs almost challenging words were interrupted by the children who were arguing over something while grabbing their bags and saying goodbye while arguing and laughing with each other. Lainey smiled at Finn who looked to John and Arthur before hugging her goodbye, something that warmed Lainey since Finn now was starting to reach the age when he was too old for hugs.

It seemed that Finn had even surprised his older brothers, Lainey missing that Finn was glaring at them behind her back, but she used their distraction none the less and were out the door, nabbing her coat by the stairs.

Arthur grumbled before continuing to shove food into his mouth. For once John agreed with his brother. They didn't like this change.

.

xxxxxxx

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Lainey was smiling at Rosie, Danny's young lady who at first had been a little wary of who Lainey was and what she wanted, but when Lainey explained, Rosie began to warm up to her. Soon they were sitting at the table, drinking tea like they'd known each other forever with Rosie's little girl next to them.

"So what do you think? It's a very humble abode, but the three of you will fit nicely in the small cottage, and dr. Hemsey assures me that mr. Glass is a very fair and just man. He won't overprice or knock you out if he feels like it." Rosie sat leaning back in her chair with a hand over her mouth but Lainey thought she could see a smile. But she knew she also had a tendency to step on toes in her eagerness. Therefore she leaned forward and looked Rosie straight in the eye.

"I am sorry if I've stepped on any toes, and it actually wasn't my idea. It was your very own Danny you see, even though I don't think he realized what he was saying, but he was telling me of how much the sounds of the town disturb him, and how he remembers being so calm when out in the country." Lainey had carefully chosen her words to make sure that she didn't say too much, Danny had been adamant that he didn't want his sweet Rosie to even be given an inkling how difficult his memories was on him.

 _"_ _Danny, I don't mean to be rude, but don't you think Rosie is aware of how much of a hard time you've had when she sees your episodes?" Danny had shaken his head and fingered his hat he was holding between his legs._

 _"_ _No, no, no. She's never seen one. She's only heard of them" and that was the end of that. Sometimes Danny was so sensitive and intelligent, and sometimes Lainey wondered how stupid men could be._

Rosie was a young and very sweet woman. Lainey didn't remember her from school, but would guess they were in the same age, though Lainey felt twenty years older. She had just proposed the idea of them moving a bit further from the city, into a cottage that one of dr. Hemsey's old patients was renting out. He also had a small farm that he needed a hand with. It would do the little family some good. Lainey glanced up at the clock in Rosie's and Danny's kitchen and started to make gestures to stand up.

"Now I'll have to be getting going, but think about it. Talk it over and let me know and I'll let mr. Glass know." Rosie stood up together with Lainey and finally said something that she'd been thinking about for quite a moment.

"What does mr. Shelby say about this?" Lainey frowned and gave a small smile as she placed her arm in her coat-sleeve and made a funny face to the little girl who'd finally smiled at Lainey from behind Rosie's legs. The girl squealed and hurried behind her mother's legs again and almost tripping Rosie.

"Annie!" Rosie scolded and grabbed at a chair to steady herself. She quickly looked up at Lainey when she heard her laugh and gave a soft smile as she heard her Annie giggle softly. Lainey nodded and took her small purse before stepping out, bidding the other two occupants a good day.

With the closing of the door, and as Lainey started her trek back home – or what she had been calling home – she felt that weight on her shoulders again. She didn't feel very included anymore in the Shelby-home. Lainey had never been the kind of person who always needed praise, she didn't do things to hear that she was helpful or kind, she did them cause she wanted to. Not to say that she wouldn't like to hear a kind word once in a while, but since the incident in the kitchen she'd felt the chores and the cooking and cleaning she did was taken for granted. She never got a word of gratitude, she was almost expected now to always do the cooking and cleaning and then it almost felt like they assumed that she would always put their needs before her own. Changing plans because John wanted to go to the pub. Changing her hours at dr. Hemsey's cause Tommy needed all the boys for errands, or having to hurry from a session because Polly and Ada had to be at shop.

Mind you that it was very rare for Polly to ask Lainey to change her plans. If there was someone that Lainey felt like they understood Lainey, it was Polly. She was the only one who asked her how she was nowadays, and – Lainey reminded herself – she didn't do things for gratitude. She did them cause that's what you do for family. It's just that she was starting to feel like an employee more then family.

As she approached the front door to the Shelby home, she slowed her steps when she heard the raised voices and hesitated. She had two choices, either take another lap around the buildings and hoping they were finished when she got back, or just walk in and pretend that she was tired and just go up to her room. With a deep breath she continued to the door, stomping her steps a little louder then necessary and scrambling with her keys, it seemed to work cause as she started to open the door she heard only silence. Tense silence.

"Good evening everyone" she smiled as she took two steps in and saw Tommy and Polly's heads turned towards her "-I'm going upstairs to bed if that's alright?" Lainey had learned quickly with Tommy that he felt calmer around you if he were asked if things were alright, that you wanted his approval. Tommy stood smoking and looked at her tensely with a hand clenched around the back of a chair and Polly stood slowly with a frown.

"Lainey, dear, we're havin' a family-meeting. Why don't you join-"

"She's not family Pol'!" Tommy interrupted and Lainey froze to a stop as she felt the words like a physical blow. Polly whirled on Tommy and scowled.

"Thomas Shelby! How dare you?!" Lainey was still standing still and could still only see Tommy and Polly, she assumed that Arthur, Ada and John was inside the kitchen as well, but she couldn't hear them. Tommy was still smoking his cigarette calmly, but she could see how his jaw was clenched and that he looked at her with a grimace. She assumed it was cause of Polly's scolding.

It was time to leave.

"Polly-" Lainey interrupted and she almost startled at her own voice. It was too calm. "- it's alright. I am going to bed and we'll talk details tomorrow. Good night." She didn't wait for a sign of approval this time. She just turned and went upstairs, hearing Arthurs deep voice "What she mean 'talk details'?".

It was time to leave.


	5. Chapter 4

_Ok, so first I just want to say thank you for all the reviews and follows. The lovely comments and just, really, thank you! I know I'm slow, and I am really sorry about that – it's just that sometimes I get a bit blocked. But I'm trying and I thank you all for your patience._

 _Lots of hugs!_

 _I am thinking Tommy and Lainey need to have a little blow-out. In that passive-aggressive way that only Tommy can have.  
-_

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They didn't talk the following day. Or even that week. The next morning when Lainey got up as usual to take care of the kids, she was out the door with them before anyone of the other adults could join them. Finn had looked at her contemplatively as she fixed them breakfast and then walked them all the way to school; he was such an observant boy, before making her tell them that they would see her that evening. It made Lainey realise that she would need to both work on her poker face, but most importantly make sure the transition when leaving the Shelby-home, went easy. For the children's sake, of course. She wanted more time to think over things and to make sure that she had somewhere to go. Which was not an easy feat in little Small Heath. Every time she thought about it, she had a small bout of hysteria. Small heath was just what it sounded like, small. It felt even smaller now when she realised that she had no family no more. Where had she gone wrong? She should have noticed the difference in how she was treated after the men came back. Where was she supposed to go now that the Shelby's had no place for her?

Dr Hemsey had always recognized when something wasn't right before, and this time was no different. He didn't say anything to her, bless that old man's soul, but he was very caring of her. Making sure to let her keep her space when she seemed to want it, and trying to make her think of other things when he felt that she was getting too sad. He showed her even more things in the practice, asking more for her help, making sure she was occupied. As the days went on, and she again met the other adults in the Shelby-home, she realised that she now truly felt like an intruder. An intruder who knew the family, but they didn't know her. Not even aunt Pol. Aunt Polly who'd been like a second mother to her when her own left her, and Ada who'd been like a sister since they were children. She felt alone. And she hated that feeling.

No, they all seemed to try and continue on like before, and to Lainey she realised that in their eyes she wasn't behaving differently. She was still the one to do most of the chores and with her schedule and the fact that she wasn't one to spend time at the abbey, she didn't meet the Shelby brothers when sober. John had twice stumbled home earlier then the others, and disturbed the kids doing their homework, and she imagined he recognized that something had changed with her. He had sat there, with his cigarette resting between his fingers leaning back, looking at her as she helped his kids – not in a way that made her feel uncomfortable, but just different. She thought she saw him clench his jaw when she jumped at the sound of Arthur and Thomas coming home.

By the third Thursday after what she in her head called 'Disaster-night'; which in truth was an incorrect saying since not all that night had been a disaster, Lainey was ready to just leave even though she hadn't found other accommodations. Tommy had stumbled into the kitchen that evening, Finn and the other kids already in bed and Lainey for once just sitting down and drinking a cup of hot tea with yesterday's paper in front of her lazying until she were to get to bed. She'd looked up as the chair opposite her got pulled out, and she felt her stomach and jaw clench when she saw that it was Tommy. He was leaning back in his seat, looking at her with a cigarette between his fingers, wrist resting on the table. She knew that he'd been at the pub drinking, merely out of recognizing the drawn look in his eyes but, she mused, a stranger would only see his chilly and controlled demeanour. _'He never relaxes. It might be viewed as a weakness.'_ When she realised that he wasn't going to say anything, merely kept on staring at her, she drew herself up and with a clenched jaw she kept her eye on her paper and lazily greeted.

"Tommy." He merely huffed, annoying her further, but she refused to play into his hands. She knew how he handled situations like this. She'd seen it plenty of times, Tommy not noticing that she was nearby, him always cool on the verge of cold as he kept on with his transactions. But not with her. She wouldn't let him be attached with her. He'd already been very clear on the fact that she wasn't welcome, but she was damned to make sure he would own up to it.

"Adelaine." _'Damn him.'_ In surprise at hearing her full name, she looked him in the eye and felt her stomach clench at the look in his eyes. She'd always found him interesting when they were younger, he'd always been so level-headed. So very much in control. Something that had only increased since his return from the war, there was always a wall of coolness to his eyes, but at the same time she always felt this turmoil from him. Like his insides were really screaming in anguish and frustration, but his outside were always cool and collected. She knew it was cause of the war.

She kept his stare and straightened even further before leaning back and placing her cup in front of her mouth, trying to give an air of nonchalance. They hadn't talked much since he came home. He wasn't one to talk. But he'd listen as Ada or Arthur chattered on, or one if the kids when showing him something they'd learned. When they were alone though, they were both quiet. Lainey had tried once, asking him how he was and how it felt being home; she now reckoned that she'd made things worse by trying to make him talk to her. He wasn't one to talk of his time in the war. She again glanced at his eyes from behind her cup trying to be nonchalant. By the small quirk of his lips, she didn't think she were successful.

"There's to be a wedding" he said slowly in his rumbling voice and took another drag of his cigarette. Lainey merely raised her eyebrow and kept silent. _'That's his game. Make you want to ask him.'_ His tiny clench of the jaw gave her a deeper satisfaction then she wanted to admit.

"John will be marrying one of the gypsy-girls in a fortnight." Lainey felt her stomach clench. _'This is it. This is the moment he teels me straight out that they have no use for me anymore.'_ Lainey gave a small frown but kept her mouth shut. She was not going to make it easy for him. He kept looking at her, probably expecting her to do what most people did when he told them things. Start talking, trying to show him they were important. But she just felt tired in that regard. They had shown her that she wasn't family. So she wouldn't act like family. She was alone, but she was not weak.

"Good for John" she spoke softly and took pleasure in Tommy's surprise at her voice as she placed her cup down. She leaned back in her seat as he raised his cigarette to take another drag. She hated to admit that she was a little hypnotised by the smoke curling around his face as he merely opened his mouth to let the smoke out. His eyes looked even more striking

"He doesn't know, it'll be easier that way. But she'll be coming here and.." in true Tommy-fashion he took no care of her surprise that he was going to make his own brother marry a girl, and also stopping at the right moment to take note of her reaction to his words "-she'll need help in the beginning with the kids and what they need." Lainey crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head to the side but didn't say anything. Tommy took another drag of his cigarette.

"Nothing will change from how it's been. Aunt Pol will still be here when she can and you'll continue doing.. whatever it is you're doing." She could even feel the blood leaving her face. 'Asshole.' Lainey growled and glared.

"Fuck you." Tommy, with his hand just about to put out his cigarette, froze and turned his head glared at the younger woman. 'Who the fuck does she thinks she is? Nobody talks to Thomas Shelby like that.'

"What did you say?" Lainey just glared and leaned forward, her hands clenching her arms in her anger and bit out.

"Fuck you. You are rude and condescending. You want my help, then ask for it." She was over this. She was Lainey Chadwick. She was a good person. She had done nothing but to care for this family, and Tommy comes home and just ruins that. _'Not a Shelby.'_ She took care of the Shelby's better then they did. She fed, clothed, bathed and helped the kids. She loved those kids. She had supported Ada even though she didn't always agree with her choices and always helped aunt Polly without asking questions. 'Well no more.' She leaned back again and straightened her back.

"You want me to be your live-in maid, like you all have seen me as. The baby-sitter and hired help?" She glared at him, not seeing him glance towards the entrance, and nodded to him. "Make your offer." Tommy frowned but tapped his fingers on the table and with a calculating look leaned backwards in his seat.

"What you want?" In any other situation she would've been proud to see him like this. Almost depending on what she wanted. But she felt nothing. She couldn't get what she wanted. _'But she could make a point.'_ She sighed and cleared her throat.

"I'll work the hours between six and nine in the morning, and then between seven and eleven in the evening, Sunday to Thursday. I'll continue the washing for the children's, Polly's and Ada's clothes. You and your brothers can find other hands for that from now on." She looked at him up and down. "I'll prepare breakfast and dinner, I'll wash and change the bed-clothes every Sunday evening but you will have to make your own beds. Military boys like yourself are, I am sure, more then capable. She took pleasure in the hard clench of his jaw as she said each word, she wanted him to know that she would no longer be little Lainey. She would no longer be taken for granted.

"I want my room until I've managed to find other arrangements. I'll agree to that half of my pay will go to rent. You will have no say about what I do the other hours I am not here, and you will not ruin any chances I might get to find other more reliable employment." She gave him a cold stare and leaned forward to stare into his eyes. "I leave _whatever_ other chores you find necessary to handle, up to you." She took a hold of her teacup and stood, placing it on the counter. She knew she'd be the one to do the dishes tomorrow. She turned toward the stairs, seeing Arthur leaning against the wall with a flask in his hand, showing all the signs of his typical drunkenness. But when she looked him in the eye she could see that tormented look that only was present when he was sober.

She'd gotten through a few times with Arthur, to make him talk. Twice when he'd been drunk. The two times had been very different. The first time he'd been calm, very monotone and almost as if speaking from a script he'd memorised. As he'd described an attack him and his company had made, the orders and how it had been executed, she realised that it was exactly that he was doing. He was repeating his given report on an event, the tactical steps and the moves they had made wrong and right, the progress and the losses.

The second time, had been at the kitchen table. He'd been drinking almost all day, he stank of fresh liquor and he'd been mumbling orders and responses under his breath. She'd asked him, 'Where are you?' and he'd looked at her, not seeing her at all, before he'd started roaring and screaming at her to take cover and follow orders and what not. When she'd tried to step closer he'd stood up, yelling at her to step away as if she was an enemy and had then thrown the chair he'd been sitting on to the wall. It'd taken her twelve minutes and forty-two seconds to make him return to the present and then to get upstairs into bed.

The three times he'd been sober had been somewhat similar, since a sober Arthur was almost always the same. Grumpy, rude at times but also polite to women he cared for, and always a man of few words. He'd told her with a sentence or two how he really was before grumbling and then saying he had somewhere to go. Only once had he said more, it had been a moment of melancholy that he'd spoken of lost friends and harsh treatments. That night when he'd stumbled to his bed, she'd wiped his face and stroked his hair enough to calm him into sleep, and then given aunt Polly a smile in the hall on her way to her own room.

"I suggest you have a family-meeting as soon as possible and then inform me what you decide. If there was nothing more?" She asked and when receiving no answer she gave the brothers a nod each before passing Arthur on her way up the steps.

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So, this might not be what you were hoping for, but as you can tell I'm a bit stuck so I thought that maybe if I just write one out and then publish it, it'll make more flow out. We'll see..


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